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Putting people first can sometimes put you last

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you find yourself saying yes to everything, even when you don't really want to? If so, you're not alone. People pleasing is a common behavior that many of us fall into, but it can have serious consequences for our mental health.

On the surface, people pleasing might seem like a harmless way to be agreeable and get along with others. But in reality, it can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and even depression. When we prioritize other people's needs and wants over our own, we can become resentful, exhausted, and burnt out.

So, why do we people please?

Well, there are a few reasons. There are several reasons why people might feel compelled to engage in people pleasing behaviors:

  1. Fear of rejection: Many people pleasers are afraid of being rejected or disliked by others. They believe that if they don't go out of their way to make others happy, they will be judged or rejected.

  2. Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem may feel like they are not valuable or important, and therefore may try to please others in order to gain approval or validation.

  3. Need for control: People pleasers may also feel a need to control their environment or other people's opinions of them. By being agreeable and accommodating, they feel like they can maintain a sense of control over their relationships and social interactions.

  4. Avoidance of conflict: Some people pleasers may avoid saying no or setting boundaries because they fear conflict or confrontation. They may believe that it's easier to go along with others' wishes than to assert their own needs.

  5. Cultural or societal expectations: In some cultures or communities, there may be pressure to prioritize others' needs or to avoid causing offense. People may feel like they are expected to be polite, helpful, and accommodating, even if it comes at the expense of their own well-being.

But the truth is, people pleasing is not a sustainable or healthy way to live. It's important to set boundaries, prioritize our own needs and wants, and learn to say no when necessary. This doesn't mean that we have to be selfish or unkind - it just means that we need to take care of ourselves in order to be our best selves for others.

So, if you're a people pleaser, take a step back and ask yourself: am I saying yes because I want to, or because I feel like I have to? Am I prioritizing my own needs and well-being? By recognizing the ways in which people pleasing can harm our mental health, we can take steps towards a more balanced, fulfilling life. And remember, saying no doesn't make you a bad person - it just means that you're taking care of yourself.

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